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As he pulls on the door, he steps in the pool of chemicals and loses his balance. In his effort to keep his footing, he holds onto the door for support. His eyes widen as he feels the cabinet give way and as in slow motion, he watches the cabinet falling over him. The sound of breaking glass beakers fills his ears as they smash all around him. Smoke fills his nostrils as some of the chemicals combine. The last thing he remembers is his throat and nose burning, a sudden painful throbbing in his head, then blackness.He opens his eyes and as looks around him, he sees that he's in a hospital room, a nurse nearby checking on beeping instruments. He lets out a deep breath, which catches the nurse's attention. She immediately hits the intercom button and calls for a doctor, hurrying toward him as he tries to sit up. She smiles, telling him to relax, the doctor rushes in as her strong hands pushing on his shoulders to lay him back down."How are you feeling?", the doctor asks, a look of. I shouted - “Where you off to Charlie?”He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough,.
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